I hate women… James Thurber

I hate women because they always know where things are.

James Thurber

US author, cartoonist, humorist, & satirist (1894 - 1961)

December 31st, 2007 - Posted in James Thurber | | 0 Comments

The end of the… Ralph Waldo Emerson

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

US essayist & poet (1803 - 1882)

December 31st, 2007 - Posted in Ralph Waldo Emerson | | 0 Comments

Fix this sentence:… Stephen Price

Fix this sentence: He put the horse before the cart.

Stephen Price

December 31st, 2007 - Posted in Stephen Price | | 0 Comments

The man who follows… Alan Ashley-Pitt

The man who follows the crowd will get no farther than the crowd. A man who walks alone is likely to get places no one has ever been before.

Alan Ashley-Pitt

December 31st, 2007 - Posted in Alan Ashley-Pitt | | 0 Comments

The orgasm has… Malcolm Muggeridge

The orgasm has replaced the Cross as the focus of longing and the image of fulfillment.

Malcolm Muggeridge

December 30th, 2007 - Posted in Malcolm Muggeridge | | 0 Comments

There are two… Neil Simon

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angles.

Neil Simon, in Playboy, Feb. 1979

December 30th, 2007 - Posted in Neil Simon | | 0 Comments

Bad spellers of the… Grafitto

Bad spellers of the world, untie!

Grafitto

December 30th, 2007 - Posted in Grafitto | | 0 Comments

The fact that a… George Bernard Shaw

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than saying a drunken man is happier than a sober man.

George Bernard Shaw

Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)

December 30th, 2007 - Posted in George Bernard Shaw | | 0 Comments

Nothing is so much… Saint Augustine

Nothing is so much to be shunned as sex relations.

Saint Augustine

Carthaginian author, saint, & church father (354 AD - 430 AD)

December 29th, 2007 - Posted in Saint Augustine | | 0 Comments

In San Francisco,… Will Durst

In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.

Will Durst

December 29th, 2007 - Posted in Will Durst | | 0 Comments

I have seen the… Thomas Babington Macaulay

I have seen the hippopotamus, both asleep and awake; and I can assure you that, awake or asleep, he is the ugliest of the works of God.

Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1850

English author & politician (1800 - 1859)

December 29th, 2007 - Posted in Thomas Babington Macaulay | | 0 Comments

Not a shred of… Brendan Gill

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

Brendan Gill

December 29th, 2007 - Posted in Brendan Gill | | 0 Comments

For the… St. Jerome

For the preservation of chastity, an empty and rumbling stomach and fevered lungs are indispensable.

St. Jerome

December 28th, 2007 - Posted in St. Jerome | | 0 Comments

Victory goes to the… Savielly Grigorievitcyh Tartakower

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

Savielly Grigorievitcyh Tartakower

December 28th, 2007 - Posted in Savielly Grigorievitcyh Tartakower | | 0 Comments

Doctors are the… Anton Chekhov

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

Anton Chekhov

Russian dramatist & short story author (1860 - 1904)

December 28th, 2007 - Posted in Anton Chekhov | | 0 Comments

Success means doing… Zig Ziglar

Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be. If we do our best, we are a success. Success is the maximumutilization of the ability that you have.

Zig Ziglar

December 28th, 2007 - Posted in Zig Ziglar | | 0 Comments

Nothing matters… Arthur Balfour

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Arthur Balfour

December 27th, 2007 - Posted in Arthur Balfour | | 0 Comments

George Washington… Mark Twain

George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - he could not even lie.

Mark Twain

US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)

December 27th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments

Punctuality is the… Evelyn Waugh

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

Evelyn Waugh

English novelist & satirist (1903 - 1966)

December 27th, 2007 - Posted in Evelyn Waugh | | 0 Comments

It is by not always… Richard Bach

It is by not always thinking of yourself, if you can manage it, that you might somehow be happy. Until you can make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost….

Richard Bach

December 27th, 2007 - Posted in Richard Bach | | 0 Comments

I have an… Steven Wright

I have an existential map. It has “You are here” written all over it.

Steven Wright

US comedian and actor (1955 - )

December 26th, 2007 - Posted in Steven Wright | | 0 Comments

Beware of the man… George Bernard Shaw

Beware of the man whose God is in the skies.

George Bernard Shaw

Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)

December 26th, 2007 - Posted in George Bernard Shaw | | 0 Comments

Religion is the… Oscar Wilde

Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief.

Oscar Wilde

Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet (1854 - 1900)

December 26th, 2007 - Posted in Oscar Wilde | | 0 Comments

Far away in the… Louisa May Alcott

Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott

US juvenile novelist (1832 - 1888)

December 26th, 2007 - Posted in Louisa May Alcott | | 0 Comments

Real glory springs… Joseph P. Thompson

Real glory springs from the silent conquest of ourselves.

Joseph P. Thompson

December 25th, 2007 - Posted in Joseph P. Thompson | | 0 Comments

He who despises… Friedrich Nietzsche

He who despises himself esteems himself as a self-despiser.

Friedrich Nietzsche

German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

December 25th, 2007 - Posted in Friedrich Nietzsche | | 0 Comments

Our deeds determine… Marian Evans

Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.

Marian Evans

December 25th, 2007 - Posted in Marian Evans | | 0 Comments

Dream lofty dreams,… James Allen

Dream lofty dreams, as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you one day shall be: your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

James Allen

December 25th, 2007 - Posted in James Allen | | 0 Comments

There is no cure… George Santayana

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval

George Santayana

US (Spanish-born) philosopher (1863 - 1952)

December 24th, 2007 - Posted in George Santayana | | 0 Comments

It is well to write… Henri De Regnier

It is well to write love letters. There are certain things for which it is not easy to ask your mistress face to face, like money for instance.

Henri De Regnier

December 24th, 2007 - Posted in Henri De Regnier | | 0 Comments

Advertising may be… Unknown

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Unknown

Quotations by unknown authors

December 24th, 2007 - Posted in Unknown | | 0 Comments

A slipping gear in… Unknown

A slipping gear in your M203 grenade launcher can cause it to fire when you least expect it. This could make you very unpopular with what is left of your unit.

Unknown, Army Magazine of Preventive Maintenance

Quotations by unknown authors

December 24th, 2007 - Posted in Unknown | | 0 Comments

There is more to… Mahatma Gandhi

There is more to life than increasing its speed

Mahatma Gandhi

Indian ascetic & nationalist leader (1869 - 1948)

December 23rd, 2007 - Posted in Mahatma Gandhi | | 0 Comments

If Christ were here… Mark Twain

If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.

Mark Twain

US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)

December 23rd, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments

If all the cars in… Doug Larson

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

Doug Larson

December 23rd, 2007 - Posted in Doug Larson | | 0 Comments

Convictions are the… Friedrich Nietzsche

Convictions are the more dangerous enemy of truth than lies.

Friedrich Nietzsche

German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

December 23rd, 2007 - Posted in Friedrich Nietzsche | | 0 Comments

The basic fact… H. L. Mencken

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore.

H. L. Mencken

US editor (1880 - 1956)

December 22nd, 2007 - Posted in H. L. Mencken | | 0 Comments

Once the people… Voltaire

Once the people begin to reason, all is lost.

Voltaire

French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778)

December 22nd, 2007 - Posted in Voltaire | | 0 Comments

Look for the… Jules Renard

Look for the ridiculous in everything and you find it.

Jules Renard

(1864 - 1910)

December 22nd, 2007 - Posted in Jules Renard | | 0 Comments

What is ten… Alain

What is ten thousand years? Time is short for one who thinks, endless for one who yearns.

Alain

December 22nd, 2007 - Posted in Alain | | 0 Comments

Great men are not… Karen Elizabeth Gordon

Great men are not always idiots

Karen Elizabeth Gordon

December 21st, 2007 - Posted in Karen Elizabeth Gordon | | 0 Comments

One of the greatest… Josh Billings

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

Josh Billings

US Humorist (1818 - 1885)

December 21st, 2007 - Posted in Josh Billings | | 0 Comments

In order to become… Charles De Gaulle

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant.

Charles De Gaulle

French general & politician (1890 - 1970)

December 21st, 2007 - Posted in Charles De Gaulle | | 0 Comments

When we remember we… Mark Twain

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Mark Twain

US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)

December 21st, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments

Few great men could… Paul Goodman

Few great men could pass Personnel.

Paul Goodman

(1911 - 1972)

December 20th, 2007 - Posted in Paul Goodman | | 0 Comments

I was once thrown… Oscar Levant

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.

Oscar Levant

(1906 - 1972)

December 20th, 2007 - Posted in Oscar Levant | | 0 Comments

I know not what… Patrick Henry

I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death.

Patrick Henry, (Virginia Convention, March 23, 1775)

US orator, patriot, & politician in American Revolution (1736 - 1799)

December 20th, 2007 - Posted in Patrick Henry | | 0 Comments

Hatred is the anger… Alphonse Daudet

Hatred is the anger of the weak.

Alphonse Daudet

December 20th, 2007 - Posted in Alphonse Daudet | | 0 Comments

The trouble with… George Bernard Shaw

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

George Bernard Shaw

Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)

December 19th, 2007 - Posted in George Bernard Shaw | | 0 Comments

Every word is like… Beckett

Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Beckett

December 19th, 2007 - Posted in Beckett | | 0 Comments

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