Religion consists… Mark Twain
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
April 13th, 2008 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
In the first place,… Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
March 27th, 2008 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
When we remember we… Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
March 26th, 2008 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
The holy passion of… Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
March 25th, 2008 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
A man cannot be… Mark Twain
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
February 15th, 2008 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Man is the only… Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes — or needs to.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
February 13th, 2008 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Whenever you find… Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
January 20th, 2008 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
A man never reaches… Mark Twain
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by the nose.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
January 3rd, 2008 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
George Washington… Mark Twain
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - he could not even lie.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
December 27th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
If Christ were here… Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
December 23rd, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
When we remember we… Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
December 21st, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Suppose you were an… Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
December 9th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Honesty is the best… Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
November 26th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
I have never taken… Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
November 8th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
It was wonderful to… Mark Twain
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
October 29th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
The rule is… Mark Twain
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain, in Christian Science
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
October 11th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
It could probably… Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
September 25th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
The best way to… Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
September 23rd, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
The best coffee in… Mark Twain
The best coffee in Europe is Vienna coffee, compared to which all other coffee is fluid poverty.
Mark Twain, Greatly Exaggerated
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
September 18th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
If a person offend… Mark Twain
If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.
Mark Twain, “Advice to Youth” Speech, 1882
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
September 12th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
How come we rejoice… Mark Twain
How come we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
September 11th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Sacred cows make… Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
September 10th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
I thoroughly… Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
September 9th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
God made the Idiot… Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
September 8th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Whenever you find… Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
September 7th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Clothes make the… Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
August 26th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
I admire the serene… Mark Twain
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
August 24th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Always do right…. Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
August 17th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
There is something… Mark Twain
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
July 18th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Get your facts… Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
July 4th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Principles have no… Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well fed.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
June 20th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
In Marseilles they… Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
June 19th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
It is by the… Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
Mark Twain, Following the Equator (1897)
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
June 10th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
The difference… Mark Twain
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
May 16th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Whenever you find… Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
May 13th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Soap and education… Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre but they are more deadly in the long run.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
May 4th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Under certain… Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
April 25th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
It is curious that… Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
April 21st, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Good breeding… Mark Twain
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain, Notebooks (1935)
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
April 20th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Familiarity breeds… Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain, Notebooks (1935)
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
April 11th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
The report of my… Mark Twain
The report of my death was an exaggeration.
Mark Twain, New York Journal, June 2, 1897
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
April 3rd, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
The coldest winter… Mark Twain
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
March 29th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Truth is more of a… Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
March 28th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
“When angry, count… Mark Twain
“When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
March 28th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
“One of the most… Mark Twain
“One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
March 27th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Man is the Only… Mark Twain
Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.
Mark Twain, Following the Equator (1897)
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
March 26th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
“Familiarity breeds… Mark Twain
“Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
March 26th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Truth is more of a… Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
February 13th, 2007 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
Never put off until… Mark Twain
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
November 5th, 2006 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments
A classic is… Mark Twain
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Mark Twain, Speech in New York, Nov. 20, 1900
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
October 22nd, 2006 - Posted in Mark Twain | | 0 Comments